I think it is safe to say most women struggle with body image issues at some point in their lives. I am no different. So when I decided I would explore breast implants, it was pretty impulsive. I looked at it as something that might make my athletic wide waist a bit tinier, maybe creating a different illusion, right?
For someone who is so into health and fitness, why in the world would I put some toxic chemical laden foreign substance in my body?
It’s like those surveys they have done with professional athletes. If they had the ability to win and conquer and be the best, but the tradeoff would be dying at 75, they would choose an early death.
I grew up in a single parent household. My Mom was everything to me, best friend, parent, I mean everything. When your Dad effectively abandons you, you end up with for lack of a better term, “daddy issues”. For me that was constantly feeling I had to prove my worthiness, that I was better, worth staying for. Long story short that ended me up in some pretty bad relationships and decisions. One of them being this surgery. My Mom was dying, my personal life in shambles, what better distraction then to go under the knife to change my appearance what I thought would be “for the better”?
I thought for sure I would look awesome. After all he said he would go as big as my anatomy would allow, which SHOULD have been my first red flag, the fact that my surgeon wouldn’t let me decide what size!
What I ended up with were some 34DD annoying heavy sacs of chemicals that would give me instant gratification of having cleavage for the first time ever, but that excitement quickly faded when I started to feel horrible.
One of the biggest talks of my life was coming up in a few months, and I wanted to lean out a bit. Nothing worked… and I mean nothing.
I was just constantly retaining water, inflamed, even the tricks I knew from competing to drop water didn’t even work! I have to diet harder, I thought. So, I dropped to 950 calories, and that worked, until it didn’t.
All it did for me was allow my already weakened immune system to take a beating and I ended up with a parasite, chronic gut issues, inability to drop any fat but I avoided all the social events I could as I was too exhausted and too embarrassed to attend.
When I say exhausted, it was beyond anything I had faced. All the caffeine in the world didn’t help. I went back on Adderall after dropping that stuff in my 20s because I felt I didn’t really need it. This was a HUGE wake up call to me. I was too young to feel so horrible.
Fast forward not even 3 years having these things and I decided enough was enough.
After exploring every possible protocol to help me feel better, two practitioners had mentioned it could be my implants. This somewhat new illness called breast implant illness was a real thing. I did my research. I found a surgeon whom other women sought out to explant, who believed in the issues associated with implants. The guilt of already shelling out the money to get them in wasn’t even a factor, my health was way more important to me, plus I really missed going without a bra and being small chested. Like really missed it. As an athlete big boobs just get in the way of everything.
Surgery was February 11, 2019.
I have not been sick, I have been able to train harder than ever, I feel amazing I am able to eat food I couldn’t, I am marrying the love of my life, everything is coming together. I took 1 Tylenol once after surgery. It was relatively easy, and pain was nothing compared to getting them in. Clearly my body was saying FU.
Our body and metabolism doesn’t care about our vanity concerns. It doesn’t care if we want to look a certain way. It just wants to keep us healthy. I am not using my story to tell you NOT to get implants, I am using it to bring light to the fact that they MAY be a contributing factor to some chronic health issues. I explored everything and addressed my diet, lifestyle, training- everything before resorting to surgery.
Many women are fine and continue to be fine with implants. However, other women may be suffering from some health issues and not even consider that their implants may be a contributing factor.
I hope my story was helpful to anyone out there who may be experiencing similar issues.
I promise no vanity is worth the price of poor health.
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